Super Saiyans: What not to do
by FBSaiyanfics
Summary: Boy meets Boy. Boy falls in love with Boy. Another boy abandons cat, brings in slut. Slut meets boy. Boy turns SSJ. See a problem? Read on! Crackfic with references to yaoi, Goku


Title: Super Saiyans: What not to do!

Authors: Julesie and 2dragonkat Summary: An introduction lesson to the levels of danger when a Saiyan is jealous. OCC, OC, yaoi (Goku/Vegeta)

Disclaimer: We get nothing from this except harmless entertainment. We do not claim any rights to these beautiful Saiyans (or any of the other less interesting characters of DBZ)

AN: Another tag-team fic from us everyone. Work on Thursday Night has been put on hold a bit because of the multi-chapter fics we both work (which we hope everyone checks out). But since we hadn't posted anything in so long we felt we should do something. Here's another pointless idea that sprang from our overactive minds. Enjoy.

Good morning class. For those of you unawares of the ferocity of the levels of Super Saiyan, this class will teach you the basics. Now when encountering a Saiyan that can reach up to level three or even level four you must proceed with caution.  
First you must figure out whether or not this particular Saiyan is mated or is courting someone. Then you must identify who this particular person is. Saiyans are very possessive and aggressive so if you show any signs of interest in a Super Saiyan's mate or potential mate...well just know we warned you.  
Now if you do by some chance make a Super Saiyan angered by going after their mate or potential mate you will need to know the levels of danger each transformation possesses.  
If the Saiyan transforms to the first level of super Saiyan then this is the warning stage of jealousy. Basically 'back off before you make me madder.'

Now if you are ignorant or just plain suicidal and you continue in your flirtations then the Saiyan will most likely transform into the second level of Super Saiyan. This is also a level of warning, but a bit more threatening. Basically 'back off or I break your arms.' Now if you manage to enrage the Saiyan even more...then I'd start writing out your last will and testament. If the Saiyan is mad enough to go into level three of the super Saiyan transformation then everyone in the vicinity, including you are in some real danger. This is the level of real threat now, no more warnings. Basically 'back off and I'll only rip off your arms, not your legs as well.'Now if you truly have no brains at all and continue with flirting with the Saiyan's mate or potential mate, then my condolences to your family. This is the level of immediate danger and everyone should clear the room if a Saiyan is enraged to this particular level. Basically 'shall I blow you up before or after I rip off every limb of your body?' Now some of you seem skeptical. And I was too until I saw it for myself. Now to end our lesson we shall turn to a video clip of a particular scene when a woman of no brains and no sense of danger walked right into the particular sequence of events I just depicted for you.  
So sit back, relax and enjoy the clip.

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Vegeta gazed impassively at the gathering of the Z-fighters and their friends for their annual get together. Kakarot had managed to show up for once and was gobbling down the food in a decidedly Saiyan way. Vegeta stood to the side, watching his secret lover from afar. He hated these gatherings, because there were less opportune times to sneak away and 'train'  
Everyone was there from his brat and shadow (Goten) to the old pervert Master Roshi, The only ones left to arrive yet were the Namek and the scar faced looser who said he had a surprise coming with him, he huffed and crossed his arms keeping an eye on the gathering, he was hoping that something more lively would happen then the usual crap.

Piccolo showed up eventually and took his now usual spot next to Vegeta and the two of them would stand in the corner of the gathering giving off vibes of 'fuck off.' They stood silently together, making faces at the other's antics, both hoping that a nasty villain would show up so they wouldn't have to suffer through this boring party.

Eventually after fifteen minutes and most of the food eaten, mainly just by Kakarot, Yamcha arrived, he landed wearing a pair of black jeans with a dark blue vest and black leather jacket, Vegeta snorted to himself, the earthling could never pull of that kind of outfit, he did find the get up weird though and also wondered where the flying cat...Puar... was who usually followed him like a love struck teenager following the boy of her dreams.

Both Piccolo and Vegeta exchanged raised eyebrows as instead of Puar trailing after Yamcha a blond bimbo was clutching the man's arm as they entered the party. Vegeta rolled his eyes as Yamcha proudly paraded the whore around the party, showing her off. What Yamcha of course didn't see was that the woman was just putting up a face; she was only accompanying the scarred man to get into his wallet, not his pants.

Quite a few of the Z-fighters stared at the blonde bimbo, a few of the women at the party mainly Bulma and Chichi would mutter about her looks and clothing whilst most of the men seemed to be fixed staring at her body, Krillin got a punch in the arm from 18 though for his staring and immediately turned and headed of towards where Goku was still eating at the buffet not even paying the women any attention.

This circus went on for a while until Yamcha left his woman's side to get some of the meager food left for them. Left alone the blonde, who had been introduced as Mindy, started to circulate around the party goers, walking in that arrogant way that only woman who thought she was the sexiest thing on the earth did. She finally caught sight of the two men in the corner and her gaze zeroed in on the prince of Saiyans. Apparently she had found a new man to dangle off of.  
She tried to walk in a sexy way towards the prince of all Saiyans trying to appeal to the male side of him before she would zero in on her newest 'victim', unaware to her though a certain Saiyan had stopped his feast on the food buffet and was staring at every step she took closer towards the prince with a glare fixed on his usual happy face.

She stopped in front of Vegeta, flipping her long hair over her shoulder, pouting her lips sexily, and cocking her hip towards the handsome man before her. "Hey there big boy,' she purred, stepping to within touching distance of the man before her. She ignored the abnormally tall green freak beside her and the man who had brought her to the party.

Goku dropped his plate, and turned towards the unfolding scene before him. No one noticing his actions except Piccolo who smirked, knowing what was going to happen.

The unsuspecting women continued to flirt shamelessly while Goku grew more and more agitated, he knew the prince would never lower his standards to someone like her but the thought of something touching the man he secretly loved rubbed him the wrong way, slowly Goku started growling, the growls getting more louder until Krillin who stood next to him could hear them and turned towards Goku giving him a confused look 'Hey Goku man, you okay,' Krillin asked hesitantly, eyes warily regarding his friend.  
Goku ignored the question taking a couple steps forward so he was closer to the pair. 'Get away from him,' he snarled at the human woman, glare turning icy.

Mindy turned and glanced at him, huffing in annoyance at the crazy haired man behind her. 'I don't think this concerns you freak,' she said turning back to the impassive prince of Saiyans. She placed a hand on his chest, finger tracing invisible patterns on the hard muscles. She did not notice the bright flash of light that erupted behind her, because all of her attention was focused on the sexy man she wanted.

The whole party turned when they all noticed the flash of light, Many of them were shocked to see the bright light coming from their close friend or relative, Chichi and Gohan stood there with puzzled looks on their faces whilst 18 and Piccolo both seemed to wear smirks on theirs, They both had an inkling about Goku and this proved their suspicions, Vegeta meanwhile who had stiffened up from the touch on his body from the women had glanced up looking at Kakarot in shock, he was curious as Kakarot was acting like a dominant male would when someone touches their love.  
Vegeta never thought that Goku would act like this in front of others, he only acted this dominant when they were alone together.  
"Take your hands off him or I'll rip them off,' Goku growled, taking two more steps closer to his lover and that whore.

Mindy didn't even turn to look at Goku, just raising one hand and giving him the finger. 'Fuck off' she said. She brought her arms up to Vegeta's shoulders, hands stroking his jaw line, not even noticing the man's attention wasn't on her but the man behind her. A great wind blew past her and more light entered the area but she just ignored it, brushing her hair behind her ears and sliding closer to the delicious man in front of her.

Kakarot's growls got louder, warning the women to back off; unfortunately she didn't pay heed and totally ignored anything around her, not even caring that she was causing a spectacle and her now ex boyfriend Yamcha was also watching this display too.  
She slowly leaned in planting a kiss on the prince's lips.

'I'm five seconds away from ripping your lips off bitch,' Goku snarled in his super Saiyan two state.  
When all he got was another finger and the sight of the woman plastering herself to Vegeta's body and beginning to rub her fake body against the perfect prince before her. His anger nearly exploded and he felt himself go into the third level of super Saiyan.  
Kakarotto roughly grabbed her and threw her to the ground away from the prince, She stared up at him with shocked eyes noticing that this couldn't be the man earlier standing behind her, this man didn't have crazy black hair sprouting in every direction rather he had blonde hair all the way down to his butt and teal eyes glaring angrily at her.

'Now I'll say it again. Take your filthy, whore hands off him or I'll break your neck bitch,' Goku said, face twisted in a snarl.

Mindy gasped angrily at the insult. No one insulted her, especially not some freak who can dye his hair and grow it out in a matter of seconds. She stood up with a huff and poked a perfectly manicured finger in the man's chest. 'How dare you say that to me, you freak of nature. I'll have you know that that man wants me over there he's just shy. You're disgusting; you're acting like a jealous lover. Ha, like hell a man as beautiful as that would be gay.'

Yamcha thinking he could get this women to hang around him again and act as if this never happened slowly walked up to the enraged ssj3 'Hey man, chill, as if she really loves Vegeta, she's just playing around I mentioned to her that Vegeta was a real stuck up prince who never has any fun and she most likely just wanted to see if she could get him to calm down.'

Goku turned piercing teal eyes towards Yamcha daring him to again interrupt, this was his right to protect his mate and no damn earthling was going to stop him from doing it, if he had to break her neck to get it through the whores head that Vegeta is 'off limits' he would. He powered up once more, going into his most powerful state, super Saiyan four. 'I'll have you know whore that Vegeta is very much into me and would never go for a slut like you. Now last chance. Leave or I'll rip out your spinal cord, strangle you with it and then throw you half way across the planet.'

Mindy's eyes widened and she finally believed that this man could do her harm. She backed away slowly before turning and sprinting out of the complex, screaming her head off. Goku smirked a very villainous smirk at her actions, ignorant of the expressions of his friends. He did though hear the sweet purring of his lover and he turned around to find Vegeta gazing at him with hungry eyes. 'I love it when you're in level four Kakarot,' the prince whispered.

Chichi and Bulma stared shocked beyond words while the rest of the group just seemed to have a 'I don't know what the fuck just happened and is going on' look on there faces, Kakarot smirked and predatorily walked towards Vegeta whilst still holding his super Saiyan 4 transformation.  
The two Saiyans met in a passionate kiss. Goku bending the prince back as he ravaged his mouth. Their purrs and growls filled the air as everyone's jaws scraped the floor except for Piccolo and 18 who just rolled their eyes at the display.

Trunks and Goten stared at their fathers slack jawed for a few moments before grinning wildly 'Hand it over Gohan' Gohan reluctantly handed over a $20 note to Trunks and Goten, they had betted a few months ago that their parents would eventually meet up and become a couple but he foolishly had never thought that Vegeta would be gay nor into his father, he regretted making that bet now.

Vegeta turned towards the three demi-saiyans and rolled his eyes at Gohan for not seeing what was bound to happen eventually, but he was secretly impressed with the two younger demi- saiyans for using this to their advantage for some free money.

Kakarotto grinned and stalked towards his mate again while he was staring at the brats distracted, grabbing him from behind he winked at the brats and tossed Vegeta over his shoulder then blasted off into the air with the sun slowly setting behind him causing a beautiful glow in the evening sky.

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Review, review, review please.

Word Count 2,309


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